offical Blog of the Liger

Tuesday, September 21, 2004


I have decided to rewrite last night's CSI:Miami episode so that it actually makes sense. so here you go.

Open to people stuck on a bridge in Miami. A huge boat crashes into bridge. Lots of screaming and yelling as the bridge which's built to survive hurricanes collapse when a boat hits it.

Horatio Kane stands there looking out into the inter-coastal waterway trying to be the coolest red-headed male character on TV since that Danny kid and in no way pulling it off.

Speed and Delko walk up.

Kane: Thanks for cutting short your vacation. Who let you guys on vacation on the same time anyways?

Delko:You made us come off vacation for a boat accident?

Kane: Witness's said the boat was pointing at the bridge.

Delko: And they could tell this from inside of their cars??

Speed: So you seriously made me come off vacation for a boat accident and we don't even know if someone is dead?

Kane: Did you not see the way I took off my sunglasses and look into the waterway? Don't question me.

Cut to Kane on the boat coming down the ladder. Woods is standing over a body.

Kane: Did you find anything?

Woods: Only this dead body that you must have already stepped over.

Speed to Kane: I going to guess that you already fingerprinted that ladder you just climbed down from.

Kane:Ummm, Don't question me unless you want to back to processing bodily fluids in the lab full time.

Duquesne: I found a shell. It's purty.

Kane: What can you me.

Duquesne: It was a .22. (smells the shell) It was shot form a SIG. It was made in the Minsk factory not the Hamburg one. You can tell this because of where the firing pin leaves a mark. It was inspected by a man named Hans, who had just left his wife when he found out she was cheating on him and he has blonde hair. Other than that I got nothing.

Kane: Do we know who this guy is yet?

Woods: Let me get his wallet. Keith Garcia. Bell Harbor.

Open to Kane and his brother Widow at the home of the dead guy. Door is opened by a pretty blonde.

Blonde: Did you find my son?

Lady cop: What are you taking about?

Kane: Listen, I don't know nothing about your son, but you husband is dead and I know you did it. That of course gives you nothing to worry about because the person I always think that did it is always innocent. So anyways who did you hire to kill you husband?

to be continued....